How to avoid your wedding dress getting dirty on your wedding day.

So, you’ve spent a ton of money on a dress that’s whiter than Hollywood smile and you’re worried that it might get a little dirty when you’re having your photos taken? Don’t worry, after years of experience photographing weddings, we’ve put together the ULTIMATE guide to keeping your dress clean. Read on, my mysophobic friends…

Get carried everywhere on a hammock or sedan chair.

Spending the day being carried about on a sedan chair or litter like you’re a Roman Emperor is a great way of avoiding your dress ever touching the ground. A standard litter would only require two to four servants for the duration of the day. It also serves as a great big handbag for storing essentials.

Learn how to levitate.

While there are no scientifically corroborated instances of any human having levitated, this isn’t to say it cannot be done. If you hone your supernatural psychic abilities in the months leading up to the wedding, there’s every chance you can maintain a hovering height of a few inches that may just be enough to stop your dress touching the ground.

Balloons. Lots of balloons.

Everybody loves the Disney movie Up, don’t they? If you haven’t got the patience or commitment to learn how to levitate (who does these days?), we’ve got an easier option. With the right about of latex and helium you could clear the ground while providing a colourful spectacle for all your guests. The kids will love it.

Clingfilm. Lots of clingfilm.

While plastic wrap is general used in food preservation, these sheets of polyvinyl chloride are great at keeping dirt and moisture off things. By wrapping your dress in plastic, you should keep it glisteningly white and (literally) squeaky clean all day. Yes, plastic wrap does untold damage to the environment and creates a choking hazard for wildlife, but it’s your wedding dress!!!

Don’t wear the dress.

A controversial one, but hear us out. Instead of wearing the dress, have it on display in a large glass case so that your guests can admire it during your drinks reception, without touching it with their filthy, feckless fingers. Using high-grade laminated glass, you can even block 99% of UV from reaching the dress, so even the sun will keep his cruddy cosmic claws off it.

Carried over the threshold and beyond.

I mean, why stop at the threshold (wherever that is)? If you’re carried all day there is no likelihood that your dress will touch the ground, keeping it fresh and beautiful. As a bonus tip, you can ask guests for monetary gifts that will help cover any physiotherapy bills for your other half.

Wear a brown dress.

Tradition, schmission. Wear a colour that hides dirt. You’ll barely notice the muck at the bottom of a dark brown wedding dress. Your wedding guests will think you’re bold and edgy and needn’t know your secret dirt-avoiding agenda. Just remember to avoid any white paint as the brown won’t hide that.

But seriously…

If you wear a white dress that trails on the ground, you have to accept that it will get a little dirty as the day goes on. If not from the portraits, it’ll get dirty just walking around your ceremony and reception. People will stand on it. Your veil will collect flies and wasps and get caught on things. These things are kinda unavoidable so it’s best not to get too upset.

When your family decide your dress is a good way to stop their shawls and phones from getting dirty…

DON’T LET A LITTLE DIRT GET YOU DOWN

Our best advice is to not let the fear of getting dirt on your dress impact your portrait photos. Even if you avoid walking on grass or letting your dress trail outside, the dance floor will leave it a nice shade of grey-black later. And don’t worry, we’ll be trying our best to avoid places that are really mucky.

Dirty train and sparkler burns, but gorgeous Eimear is still smiling!

Take the weather into account

It does help to take the weather into account. While, it’s often impossible to guess what the weather will do from hour to hour in Ireland, you are more likely to experience wet ground in winter. So, if planning a winter wedding you might want to avoid a massive train that will soak up fifty gallons of water.

Spacehopper races on grass are probably not the best way to keep your dress clean, but they’re a LOT of fun…

Rethink your wedding dress

Many of our favourite wedding dresses have been tea-length or ankle-length. There is something really chic and modern about a bride in a shorter dress. Plus you can really show off those shoes that cost you a fortune.

Edel’s ankle-length wedding dress remains one of the most stunning we’ve ever seen. She looked so fabulous in it.

Not only was it an absolutely gorgeous dress, Edel was able to comfortably get around without needing any help.

Get a good dry-cleaner afterwards

The fact is, you’re unlikely to ever wear the dress again, but the photos you have will be with you a lifetime. And if it does get a bit dirty on the bottom, take heart that we’ve seen the dirtiest wedding dress in the world (Alex Cox, we’re looking at you… see below) clean up to sparkling white after a good dry cleaning.

How to Avoid getting your dress dirty...